There is a great Kanye West song called Family Business off his album The College Dropout, and one lyrics really hits me:
As kids we used to laugh,
Who knew that life would move this fast?
Who knew I’d have to look at you through a glass?
My dad passed away on July 8th 2003 after being involved in a horrific car accident on the way to Tai Chi. My mom was in the car and survived, but with some severe injuries that she still hasn’t fully recovered from. After that, it became customary to visit home to take care of my mom and we’d also visit his grave. You’d think that my dad dying would have brought us together, but for us it didn’t. At the time I blamed my brother for things, and he was pretty weird. I’m not going to get into the stuff he did, but looking back, I just think that was his way of coping. I think we justify some things because we feel like we always have more time to make things right.
So it makes me really sad to look at this photo. How was I to know that this is the last photo I’d ever take with my brother? How true the lyrics to the song. I sometimes wonder what he would have done different had he known how fast life moves. I wonder what he would have felt had he known that I’d be looking at him inside a coffin almost exactly 1 year later. We never know what the future brings.